How to text your ex when a family member dies
This isn't about you or the relationship. It's about their loss. Say the loss, offer presence, ask nothing.
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Three ways to say it
“hi, i know it's weird for me to reach out but i just heard about [name] and i had to say something, i'm so sorry for your loss, i loved them too”
I just heard about [name]. I'm so sorry. I loved them too.
“i know this is complicated but i wanted you to know i'm thinking of you and your family, if there's anything at all i can do please let me know”
Thinking of you and your family. I'm here for anything. No pressure to reply.
“i'm just so sorry for what you're going through, [name] meant so much and this is unfair, please take care of yourself and your family”
So sorry. [Name] mattered. Take care of yourself.