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How to comfort someone going through a divorce over text

Divorce texts go wrong when they turn into a verdict on the marriage. Stay out of judgment, stay in support.

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Three ways to say it

Scenario 1
They just told you they're separating
What you'd type

“oh my god i had no idea, are you doing okay? i'm so sorry, marriage is so hard and i know you both tried, if you need anything at all i'm here for you”

LessBot
What to send

I'm so sorry. Whatever you need — a place to stay, someone to vent to, silence — I'm here.

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Scenario 2
You want to check in without prying
What you'd type

“hey just wanted to see how you're holding up with everything going on, no need to get into details if you don't want to, just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you”

LessBot
What to send

Thinking of you. No need to get into it — just wanted you to know.

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Scenario 3
They're worried about the kids
What you'd type

“i can't imagine how hard this must be with the kids too, you are doing such a good job holding it together for them, they are so lucky to have you as a parent”

LessBot
What to send

You're holding it together for them and it shows. They're lucky to have you.

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Scenario 4
They ask what you think of their ex
What you'd type

“honestly i don't want to say anything bad because i know it's complicated, i just want you to know i'm on your side no matter what and i'm not here to judge either of you”

LessBot
What to send

I'm on your side — not here to score-keep. How are you actually doing?

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Common questions

How to comfort someone going through a divorce over text

Divorce texts go wrong when they turn into a verdict on the marriage. Stay out of judgment, stay in support.

What should I text when they just told you they're separating?

I'm so sorry. Whatever you need — a place to stay, someone to vent to, silence — I'm here.

What should I text when you want to check in without prying?

Thinking of you. No need to get into it — just wanted you to know.

What should I text when they're worried about the kids?

You're holding it together for them and it shows. They're lucky to have you.

What should I text when they ask what you think of their ex?

I'm on your side — not here to score-keep. How are you actually doing?

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