How to set a boundary with a sibling over text
Sibling boundaries stick when they're calm and specific, not when they're a list of everything that's ever bothered you.
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Three ways to say it
βhey so i know you like to just stop by sometimes but honestly it's been kind of stressful for me lately, would it be okay if you texted first? i'm not trying to be difficult i promiseβ
Can you text before coming over from now on? Makes a real difference for me.
βi've noticed things i've told you in confidence have been getting back to mom and i'm not mad i just really need that to stop happening, i need to be able to trust you with stuffβ
What I tell you needs to stay between us β it's gotten back to mom a few times now.
βi really want to help you out but i've noticed this is becoming a pattern and i need to set a boundary around it, i love you but i can't keep doing this financiallyβ
I can't keep lending money β I need that to be a hard stop from here on.
βi know you mean well but i need you to stop commenting on how i'm raising my kids, it's really starting to get to me and i need you to trust that i've got thisβ
I need the comments on my parenting to stop. I've got this β trust me on it.
Common questions
How to set a boundary with a sibling over text
Sibling boundaries stick when they're calm and specific, not when they're a list of everything that's ever bothered you.
What should I text when they keep showing up unannounced?
Can you text before coming over from now on? Makes a real difference for me.
What should I text when they overshare your business with the family?
What I tell you needs to stay between us β it's gotten back to mom a few times now.
What should I text when they ask for money again?
I can't keep lending money β I need that to be a hard stop from here on.
What should I text when they comment on your parenting/relationship/choices?
I need the comments on my parenting to stop. I've got this β trust me on it.